Thursday, May 10, 2012

A Normal Heart

            Last week, I lost a friend of 42 years. 
            We met in college when Nixon was president, the Vietnam War was still raging, and answering machines along with laptops, i-pads and cellphones were all figments of the future. We were teenagers then, younger than our own children are today, and we had no idea of what shape our lives would take – of who and what we would become.
            For most of the past 42 years, Elyce and I lived in different cities, a few hundred miles apart at least. But we talked and emailed often, sharing the details along with the gist of our lives and offering each other what comfort and support we could.
            Even during her last awful illness, Elyce didn’t want to talk just about her own pains and woes. No, she also wanted to hear about me, too. And if anything, she seemed a little embarrassed by all the attention and concern. She never let her disease define her.  Instead she took control and learned as much as she could; fought as hard as she could; and lived as fully – and as meaningfully – as she could. 
            She just wanted to live a “normal” life.  But I don’t think “normal” is the right word to describe someone who was beloved not just by her family and friends but by the medical staff that cared for her. 
            As her husband said at her funeral over the weekend, hospital hardened nurses and doctors – even surgeons! – were moved to tears by Elyce.
            How did she find the strength to carry on? According to one of her three daughters, Elyce said:  “Well, I wake up every morning and say, ‘Okay, I’m still alive!’”
            And live she did, without wasting time sweating the small stuff or wallowing in self-pity.  And though it all, she kept her gentle, witty sense of humor, finding ample reasons to laugh. In April, her hospital bed doubled as a seder table, and her youngest daughter asked, “Why is this night different from all other nights.”  Why indeed!
            On another occasion, her daughter called, scared and teary over her own health scare. Her mother coaxed and soothed, and then finally said, “Come on, sweetie. Try to pull it together.  I’ve got to go glue on my eyebrows now.”
            Just last month, I mentioned that a dear friend was dying a few months short of her own 60th birthday. I think I made the point that making it to 60 – and beyond – is hardly something to bemoan, but a gift to enjoy.
            Well, I realize now that I was wrong. Not about the gift of 60, but about my friend. Yes, Elyce had exhausted all chemotherapy options and her condition was indeed terminal. But even so Elyce wasn’t dying so much as living, living until the very end with courage and determination, love and dignity.
            As her friend, I feel lucky to have known her and so very sad to have lost her.


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